The Law of Communication
Without mutual recognition and understanding, true communication is impossible.
We now live in an era defined by communication. Many experts even identify “communication” as the most important keyword of our time. Influenced by this, countless people actively use social networking services like Instagram, Twitter, X, and blogs, considering them essential tools. In this age of communication, the real question is: What kind of messages should we send, and how should we deliver them to one another?
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Understanding Differences: The Starting Point of Communication
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One of Aesop’s fables tells the story of the fox and the stork.
The fox invited the stork for dinner but, thinking only of himself, served the food on a flat plate the stork could not eat from. Later, the stork invited the fox to her home and served the meal in a tall, narrow-necked jar that only she could eat from.
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In the end, the fox went hungry.
The fable ends there, but perhaps after this incident, the fox and the stork never dined together again—or even became lifelong enemies.
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If the fox had understood the stork’s nature, he would never have served food on a flat plate. Likewise, if the stork had believed that the fox’s mistake wasn’t intentional, she might not have responded with malice. The fox’s failure to recognize differences was a problem, but the stork’s retaliation also made communication impossible.
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This fable shows us that even when we express our thoughts clearly, the meaning can change entirely if the other person’s background or situation is different. That’s why communication requires understanding each other—and that begins with recognizing differences.
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When we fail to acknowledge that we are different, conflicts arise. In Aesop’s story, the problem began because the fox ignored the difference between himself and the stork.
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Whether between parents and children, teachers and students, or supervisors and subordinates—if there is no recognition or understanding, true communication cannot exist. We should reflect on whether, in our families, workplaces, and society, we are repeating the same mistake as the fox and the stork.
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“Open First, Accept Deeply”
Communication is never as simple as it sounds. It always requires effort.
If both sides only insist on their own opinions, conversations end up moving in unintended directions. Instead of achieving the communication we wanted, we risk causing unnecessary harm. Still, we must communicate. So how can we achieve smooth and meaningful communication?
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1. Open Your Heart First
For communication to flow, we must first open our own hearts.
That means setting aside prejudices and fixed ideas, avoiding the arrogance of thinking only our opinion is correct, and working to resolve negative feelings such as anger, jealousy, or contempt toward the other person.
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2. Create a Comfortable Atmosphere
Choose the right time and place for a conversation.
Express warmth, empathy, and support for the other person’s words. Recognize and praise their strengths so they feel encouraged to open up and join the conversation.
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3. Listen with Your Full Attention
Many communication problems arise because we fail to listen sincerely.
For satisfying communication, extend the conversation, make clear efforts to understand the other’s thoughts, and show that you care. Trying different channels—such as phone calls, text messages, emails, or letters—can also help.
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4. Be Clear and Ask Questions
When sharing your thoughts, be specific and detailed, explaining with clarity and repetition if needed. People often hear only what they want to hear, so saying something once or twice is rarely enough.
Also, confirm mutual understanding by asking questions: “Did I explain this clearly?” or “Am I understanding what you’re saying correctly?”
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5. Accept and Compromise
Ultimately, communication requires acceptance.
If you want to communicate, you must be willing to accept the other person’s viewpoint. Communication is not a one-way street but a two-way exchange. It is not about enforcing your will, but about finding compromise.
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Don’t Give Up Too Easily
Communicating with others is never easy. In fact, the biggest obstacle may be how quickly we give up on communication itself.
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Let us choose to begin first.
Instead of waiting for the other person to open their heart, let us take the initiative, open ours, and make continuous efforts to converse. In professional communication, it is also vital to explain clearly, confirm through questions, and actively accept the other’s perspectives.
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